'Dwellaz
Go Poetry
Dumptruck Records

This album is disgusting. It is full of swearing and naughty concepts such as fellatio and cunnilingus. My church does not condone these types of acts, as they are considered sodomy as well as they are considered to be contraceptive methods. One of the commandments that Noah forgot to bring down from the red mountain was "thou shalt not squander sperms," so the mouth should not be used for a semen holder in any case or ever. And that's what the cover shows. Not to mention that the cover is a negro and inside there is strippers with no shirts on.

This Master Rat and Doctor Watch Out are disgusting people who should be fed to the lions. God did not intend for something as glorious as "music" to be wasted by these horrible perverts. All they talk about is having fornicationous relationships and sodomy. There is even a lot of pornographic "samples" on this record.

And they cover Hang Tough by the New Kids, which should be a crime if it already isn't.

Even worse than all of that, there is the disgustin interview with someone impersonating our fearless leader, George W. Bush (a man who should be respected because he won the presidency). They make him look like a stupid drug using stupid idiot which is not the case.

With guest artists who have names like the Heinous Anus and A Man to be Named Later (obviously a hint that he is Jesus rizen to absolve us of our sins), I don't know how these awful people sleep at night. Probably by the use of many intraveneous drugs that they must use.

Don't buy this album or you will go to hell. I thought I was in hell while I listened to it.

-Martha Griffith

Dr. Watch-Out Retalliates

Miss Bitch Griffith, you may feed me and my brother Masta Rat to the cocksucking lions. Toss us down with the sodomites and pornographers. Hell bitch, you should come on down with us. You may find out how terribly ordinary it is down here. You may see how much the old fuckers that bugger young boys resemble your husband, you may see how much the innerveinous jackasses remind you of your son, and you goddamn better believe that me and Rat will be fillin' out your daughter like a W2. Bitch we already in hell, deeply intrenched. We already, everyday, deal with shit that only Dante could imagine. Thing is, the worl' was lackin' a cocksuckin' Virgil, a tour guide through the levels of this dog-eat-dog, horseshit reality. Then the Dwellaz dropped on your asses and showed all you motherfuckers what's goin' on, what you like best--COCK AND PUSSY AND THE MOLESTATION OF IDEOLOGIES OR YOUNG GIRLS! That's right! We grabbed pop culture by the nuts and squeezed, then we put everything that squirted out on our rekkids. I make no apologies, bitch. Fuck George W., fuck the New Kids. Me and Rat bring it R.E.A.L.! Welcome to hell, bitch. Welcome to a brave new world where your shit don't flush no more, where your garbage man don't come 'round, where the condom machines are packed with dirty trojans. Me and Rat is just here to document the ride on down.

DOCTOR WATCHOUT DUMPTRUCK RECORDS

Mrs. Griffith was unavailable for comment. The Excuse Magazine has fired her.

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